Rule #32

Laying in bed listening to Sweet Disposition, I've been thinking about my year thus far. I've learned a lot, and also decided a lot about myself. Lately I've become fed up with how technology rules my life and I think I'm going to change that. I've also decided that money isn't everything. (maybe that's because i'm recently poor)
I've also decided that Zombieland didn't have it all wrong. You really should enjoy the little things. My parents were in town this weekend and what I noticed wasn't their newly graying hair, or weight loss, I noticed the little things. I noticed how my mom always smiles when she is remembering something funny that our conversation has brought up and how my dad always smells the same. I started to realize that these are the people that I want to be, and also the people that my parents warned me about. My mom used to tell me not to be afraid to change the world. I've always wanted to.
I've decided that I will no longer be abiding by the rules that govern modern day courting. If I want to text you, I'm going to. If I want to hang out, I'm going to tell you that. This whole "make him text you first" and "that's not allowed" stuff isn't cutting it. Technological rules will no longer tell me what to do.
I will do what I want to do, and one day, it will all work out. Everyday I will do something that scares me. Sooner or later, taking this leap off of a cliff every day will pay off. I won't fall like Wiley Coyote, I'll take off and fly. On that day my friends, I will not be silent about my excitement, I will be loud, and you will know that finally, I have won.
Life isn't hard readers. It can be, but when you break it down, most of the stuff you worry about( or at least what I worry about) isn't going to matter next week, or probably even tomorrow. So shut up and get over it. You're fine. You're chest will keep ebbing and flowing like it always has and your heart will keep jumping all around in your chest. It won't ever stop for you.
So my conclusion for this weekend, is rule #32, enjoy the little things.

It Won't Be Long

Today in my poetry class we talked about q-tips. A simple thing that we all use every day. If you think about it, life is a lot like using a q-tip. You keep pushing that edge between pleasure and pain until you feel either clean, or like you're world has been blown apart.

Sometimes I think life is hard, and other times I feel like life is easy. What do I have to worry about? I'm in college and have nothing to do with my life but learn about the world. This is what I tell myself when life seems to become overwhelming. There is a part in one of my favorite movies, Garden State, where the main character does a dance and makes a noise when she is feeling unoriginal. I suggest you try the same. Never be boring, readers. Never let life go to waste. Keep pushing that q-tip further because you only get one chance to do that today. If you don't reach the line, you'll have to go back and wait until tomorrow to try again. Keep trying, but remember that sometimes this has explosive consequences. Just be prepared.

Sweet You Rock

Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes you just have to keep pushing through it and be who you need to be weather you feel like you are alone, or not. Life is full of bad decisions and wrong doings that you will insanely regret later. You will hurt people, and be hurt yourself but at the end of the day, it's still worth it. Everything you do, you do for a reason. Something will come out of it, good or bad, and you will be a better person for it. Life is hard so it will make you stronger. The situations you so half-heartedly find yourself in will teach you a lesson and you will flourish from it. Don't regret the things you do because at the time you decided to do them, they probably made you the happiest person in the world.

Now it's time for the oldest question in the book. Is all fair in love and war? Where do you draw the line? How far would you go to get what you wanted, what truly made you happy? Would you hurt someone else so that in return for a broken heart, yours would be healed? I have to say, sadly I think I would. I do believe that all is fair in love and war and I don't believe that if you love something you should let it go. I believe that you should hold on with all of your might and do everything in your power to make it happen. Not in a creepy stalker way of course, but in more of a....pop culture Jacob kind of way. Until your preverbal heart stops beating. Just keep going and keep trying.

One of my favorite quotes is "anyone in the world can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do, but to hold it together when everyone would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength." I think that is perfect for how I live my life. I apologize that this blog has no other point than for me to get stuff off of my chest, but if you're reading it, I hope it is sincerely helping you, because Lord knows it's helping me.

Sometimes I feel like Samson. I'm tired of being the hero, and I just wish someone would cut my hair already. I get really tired of trying to be what everyone needs me to be all the time when really all I need me to be is happy. Then again, sometimes being happy is the hardest thing in the world to do. It can be like trying to learn how to fly. We watch birds to it all the time and we know what flying is, just like we know what happiness is, we just don't know how to do it. Samson just wanted someone to love him, at least I think so. I think he probably got tired of being a hero too. I also think that Delilah probably loved him long before the war. She probably knew every thought in his head. The war was just convenient.

Of all of these things in my life, I am grateful. I am so blessed to have situations to have to deal with, and also the ability to talk about them. I am lucky to have you, even if you are only waves on the internet. Sometimes, all you need is to get it out in the open to someone, even if that person has no idea what's going on. Then again, sometimes all you need is love.