So it's been a while since I've blogged. I started to miss it so I'm back. A lot of things have happened since I wrote last so I'll do my best to cover most of it.
I got back from my trip in early July. It was absolutely fantastic. Chances are if you read this, you've already talked to me about it. I will do my best to get some pictures up here as soon as I can
I moved back to Columbia and into mu apartment. I love it. I love having my own space and my own big bed and a shuttle that takes me to campus. I absolutely adore my new room. Again, I'll post pictures soon.
I started working at American Eagle in the Columbia Mall. I really like it there. It isn't as "interesting" as serving at Chili's was but the pay is better and not to mention the discount is awesome.
I stopped running and then started again. I decided to start working out three times a week. That a way it's not every day so I don't feel obligated but it's enough to keep me going and keep me active. I've found that I actually kind of look forward to it. It's hard to go because it sucks and is terrible and I'm bad at it, but I always feel accomplished when I'm through. I want to write about my running experiences so I'm going to start adding to my blog today about it.
Distance: 1.2 Miles
Location: Rock Quary Park Trail
Time: 15 Minutes 35 Seconds
Feelings: I really liked going on the trail. It was nice to not really have to count laps, since it only takes two to get the 1.2 distance (it's a .6 mile trail). Running on the chad was difficult and uneven and made my hips sore but I think it was better and more "adventurous" than running on pavement.
What I learned: Next time drink more water before hand. Stretch in, not just out. Walk a lap before I start running. Keep my mind occupied and don't think about how far I have left to go. Think about all you have accomplished, not all you have left to do.
It's hard to keep going when you know you're bad at something. I will admit that I am not dedicated enough to run a half marathon yet. It kills me to run for 20 minutes let alone three hours. So I am starting small. I am trying to run three times a week. I am also looking for a 5K to run in before christmas. That is 3.1 miles. SO at the rate I'm going now that should take me about 40 minutes (15x3=45minutes for 1.2x3=3.6miles) so give or take a few minutes puts me at about 40 minutes for 3.1 miles. I know that's really slow but as of right now it's what I've got and I'm proud of it.
I have a hard time convincing myself that I do a good job exercising. I get out of breath easily and hot really fast. My lungs start to hurt long before my body does. I've started thinking about how I actually made an effort and that has to count for something. It has to be worth something that I got up and ran around like a silly goose rather than sat around or took a nap (though I did that after).
Keep on me bloggers. Make sure I stick to my guns. I hope you do the same. I'm going to imagine that you are all in this with me and are doing the same things. That you're drawing words from my posts and that they are inspiring you. Even if they aren't, I will dream.
12 September 2011
16 June 2011
Day 2: Wyoming to Idaho
Today was a rough day. We went 12 hours in the car and man did it feel like it. It probably seemed longer to me because I didn't sleep as much as I did yesterday. I only slept for like 3 hours instead of like 10 haha. It was prettier today because we got into the mountains. We saw over 200 antelope and a bunch of prairie dogs. We actually saw some buffalo too. It was an exciting animal day.
We left the hotel at like 6:30am and made it at around 5:50 or so. I can't remember, I didn't pay that much attention. Today we went through Wyoming, Utah and ended in Idaho. Wyoming was cool. That is where we saw a majority of the animals. We spent the most part of the day in Utah. We stopped a lot more today than we did yesterday. In Utah we decided to stop and see the Great Salt Lake. This was a surprise. We missed it by about 20 miles because we came in on a different highway than the one that accesses it. The good news is we took pictures next to another gigantic non-salt lake that looks a lot like it.
After that we went to a gas station where I attempted to buy scratchers tickets, which I love, and found out that Utah doesn't have a state lottery. Darn!! I LOOOOOOOVE to buy scratchers. So as soon as we stopped in Idaho I got two $1 scratchers and what do you know? I won $10!! Take that, Utah!
It was a pretty good day so far. I think we have like 8-9 hours of driving tomorrow until we get to Seattle. I'm really excited about the drive tomorrow because it is supposed to be really green and pretty. Maybe it will even rain while we are in Seattle. We are staying with some distant cousins there so that will save us a night in the hotel.
My mom's blog has a lot of our pictures up from today and this is the address if you want to look at them. I had an accident with my digital camera last night and had to go buy a bunch of disposables! So go take a look and you can also read her side of the story of our trip!
http://peagoulash.blogspot.com/
I will blog tomorrow, miss you guys!!
We left the hotel at like 6:30am and made it at around 5:50 or so. I can't remember, I didn't pay that much attention. Today we went through Wyoming, Utah and ended in Idaho. Wyoming was cool. That is where we saw a majority of the animals. We spent the most part of the day in Utah. We stopped a lot more today than we did yesterday. In Utah we decided to stop and see the Great Salt Lake. This was a surprise. We missed it by about 20 miles because we came in on a different highway than the one that accesses it. The good news is we took pictures next to another gigantic non-salt lake that looks a lot like it.
After that we went to a gas station where I attempted to buy scratchers tickets, which I love, and found out that Utah doesn't have a state lottery. Darn!! I LOOOOOOOVE to buy scratchers. So as soon as we stopped in Idaho I got two $1 scratchers and what do you know? I won $10!! Take that, Utah!
It was a pretty good day so far. I think we have like 8-9 hours of driving tomorrow until we get to Seattle. I'm really excited about the drive tomorrow because it is supposed to be really green and pretty. Maybe it will even rain while we are in Seattle. We are staying with some distant cousins there so that will save us a night in the hotel.
My mom's blog has a lot of our pictures up from today and this is the address if you want to look at them. I had an accident with my digital camera last night and had to go buy a bunch of disposables! So go take a look and you can also read her side of the story of our trip!
http://peagoulash.blogspot.com/
I will blog tomorrow, miss you guys!!
15 June 2011
Day 1 Missouri to Wyoming
Hello loyal blog followers. Today we made it all the way to wyoming. It was a long drive. Several really cool things happened. We were in Iowa and decided we should stop for gas except the town we stopped in was deserted. All of the gas pumps were removed and there were piles of dirt, roof high, around every building. We thought this was pretty bazar. We made it down the road a ways and realized that the sides of the roads were full of water and it was slowly encroaching on the road. We found out that right after we went through there that it was closed because that area was expecting a levee to break and there to be 10 foot flooding!!
We made it safely across and made the trek across Nebraska. If you've never driven across Nebraska, I highly suggest you continue to avoid it. It was very close to being as boring as Kansas. Lucky me I got to sleep most of the trip but I was awake about the last four hours keeping my mom company while she drove. It wasn't that bad. We got in at about.....oh..5 o clock here. We are an hour behind Missouri so when it is five here it is six in Missouri.
Tomorrow we are leaving around 6:30AM and will make it deep into Idaho. It will be another long drive but I think we will be able to do it. The scenery has to get better. Although today we did see 6 antelope, 3 deer and several prairie dogs. Hopefully we will get into the mountains soon.
I hope all is well with you and I will do my best to post tomorrow too!!
We made it safely across and made the trek across Nebraska. If you've never driven across Nebraska, I highly suggest you continue to avoid it. It was very close to being as boring as Kansas. Lucky me I got to sleep most of the trip but I was awake about the last four hours keeping my mom company while she drove. It wasn't that bad. We got in at about.....oh..5 o clock here. We are an hour behind Missouri so when it is five here it is six in Missouri.
Tomorrow we are leaving around 6:30AM and will make it deep into Idaho. It will be another long drive but I think we will be able to do it. The scenery has to get better. Although today we did see 6 antelope, 3 deer and several prairie dogs. Hopefully we will get into the mountains soon.
I hope all is well with you and I will do my best to post tomorrow too!!
13 June 2011
Newbys
I have very exciting news today. If I hear right, I have a few new followers! So Hello, Hello to all of you. I'm so glad you've begun reading my blog!! I'll warn you now, sometimes I can rant! Ha I'm just sitting here at home watching Angels and Demons. I'm going to go to a movie with my friend Heather later, so that should be fun.
Not a lot has happened since I blogged last. Mostly we have just been getting ready for the trip. We leave at 3am on Wednesday morning. I'm ecstatic!! We are supposed to make it to Chyanne, WY on Wednesday and I will probably blog from there next. I hope you all have a great next few days!
Not a lot has happened since I blogged last. Mostly we have just been getting ready for the trip. We leave at 3am on Wednesday morning. I'm ecstatic!! We are supposed to make it to Chyanne, WY on Wednesday and I will probably blog from there next. I hope you all have a great next few days!
07 June 2011
As Always
As my title today says, like always, it has been too long since I blogged. It's going to be a long one, so for your convenience I've decided to number my points and let you pick which ones you want to read about.
1. Student Ambassador Job
2. The Purple Dinos
2.5 End of Semester Mumbo Jumbo
3. Home Life
4. Movie Theater Job
5. Trip to Columbia
6. Alaska
7. Future Summer Plans
1. Student Ambassador Job
For this I made it to the interview process but sadly only got one interview. I thought it went really well and I answered their questions very fairly but I guess I wasn't what they were looking for. I got an email about a week after I came home saying that the position had been filled and thanked me for applying. It's too bad I couldn't get that job on campus but I understand that everything happens for a reason. I guess I will remain at Chili's through the school year. They have treated me well so far so I guess I will stay there for my employment.
2. The Purple Dinos
Fortunately we made it through the first round of playoffs....by forfeit. It was a miracle to all of us that we made it that far let alone "won" a game and progressed further. But a W is a W, right? We won another game by forfeit putting us in the top 8 teams in the league. All of the girls played their hearts out, but sadly, in game 3, that wasn't enough. We lost to a team that we had been obliterated by earlier in the season but personally, I thought we did a lot better the second time around. Though we are losing some really good girls for next semester I hope the dinos can pull through and do well again next semester.
2.5 End of Semester Mumbo Jumbo
The semester ended very well. I passed all of my classes, some with lower grades than others, but the point is I passed. I was so glad to have finals over but not so eager to leave Columbia. As I've said before, it's hard to leave one place you call home for another, no matter which direction you are traveling.
3. Home Life
Being at home is so nice. It's so much different than when I was in high school. I have few responsiblities and get to sit around and enjoy my time off. It's nice to be around family and just be able to hang out and not worry about when I have to go back to school. When I work I stay with my Ma and Pa Kay in Monett, about 30 minutes away from my house, which is nice. They have a pool that needs tending to so I have been getting a tan. I also go to bed very early. Mom and I have ridden our bikes a few times, once with Elizabeth too. It's a fun thing that I like to do.
4. Movie Theater Job
Talk about an easy job. I always joke with my Ma and Pa that I'm the best paid bathroom cleaner in the world. It is a really good job and I don't have to do much, except clean the bathrooms. I sell tickets and concessions most days, some days I tear tickets. It's pretty easy and I get to read my book a lot. It's nice.
5. Trip to Columbia
A week ago today I made the trip to Columbia to visit everyone. It was nice to be back. I got to spend time with Dorothy, Shawn, Spencer, and even see my friend Dylan. It was really nice.
6. Alaska
So a week from tomorrow we (mom, steve, amelia, elizabeth and I) leave for alaska. I will be using this blog to keep you all posted on our progress through the road trip, and on the boat. It will be easier since I won't have my phone aboard the ship. I hope you find it useful and that I remember to write haha.
7. Future Summer Plans
So my summer plans changed last week when I was asked to come back to Columbia for work. So I will be returning to Columbia after our trip to work until school starts. This will be a change but I think it will be nice to earn some extra money. I will still work at the theater on holidays. It will stink leaving home but as I tell my mom, I always miss one place or another.
Thanks for reading my blog and thanks for sticking around. I'm glad you did and I will do better about blogging through the summer.
1. Student Ambassador Job
2. The Purple Dinos
2.5 End of Semester Mumbo Jumbo
3. Home Life
4. Movie Theater Job
5. Trip to Columbia
6. Alaska
7. Future Summer Plans
1. Student Ambassador Job
For this I made it to the interview process but sadly only got one interview. I thought it went really well and I answered their questions very fairly but I guess I wasn't what they were looking for. I got an email about a week after I came home saying that the position had been filled and thanked me for applying. It's too bad I couldn't get that job on campus but I understand that everything happens for a reason. I guess I will remain at Chili's through the school year. They have treated me well so far so I guess I will stay there for my employment.
2. The Purple Dinos
Fortunately we made it through the first round of playoffs....by forfeit. It was a miracle to all of us that we made it that far let alone "won" a game and progressed further. But a W is a W, right? We won another game by forfeit putting us in the top 8 teams in the league. All of the girls played their hearts out, but sadly, in game 3, that wasn't enough. We lost to a team that we had been obliterated by earlier in the season but personally, I thought we did a lot better the second time around. Though we are losing some really good girls for next semester I hope the dinos can pull through and do well again next semester.
2.5 End of Semester Mumbo Jumbo
The semester ended very well. I passed all of my classes, some with lower grades than others, but the point is I passed. I was so glad to have finals over but not so eager to leave Columbia. As I've said before, it's hard to leave one place you call home for another, no matter which direction you are traveling.
3. Home Life
Being at home is so nice. It's so much different than when I was in high school. I have few responsiblities and get to sit around and enjoy my time off. It's nice to be around family and just be able to hang out and not worry about when I have to go back to school. When I work I stay with my Ma and Pa Kay in Monett, about 30 minutes away from my house, which is nice. They have a pool that needs tending to so I have been getting a tan. I also go to bed very early. Mom and I have ridden our bikes a few times, once with Elizabeth too. It's a fun thing that I like to do.
4. Movie Theater Job
Talk about an easy job. I always joke with my Ma and Pa that I'm the best paid bathroom cleaner in the world. It is a really good job and I don't have to do much, except clean the bathrooms. I sell tickets and concessions most days, some days I tear tickets. It's pretty easy and I get to read my book a lot. It's nice.
5. Trip to Columbia
A week ago today I made the trip to Columbia to visit everyone. It was nice to be back. I got to spend time with Dorothy, Shawn, Spencer, and even see my friend Dylan. It was really nice.
6. Alaska
So a week from tomorrow we (mom, steve, amelia, elizabeth and I) leave for alaska. I will be using this blog to keep you all posted on our progress through the road trip, and on the boat. It will be easier since I won't have my phone aboard the ship. I hope you find it useful and that I remember to write haha.
7. Future Summer Plans
So my summer plans changed last week when I was asked to come back to Columbia for work. So I will be returning to Columbia after our trip to work until school starts. This will be a change but I think it will be nice to earn some extra money. I will still work at the theater on holidays. It will stink leaving home but as I tell my mom, I always miss one place or another.
Thanks for reading my blog and thanks for sticking around. I'm glad you did and I will do better about blogging through the summer.
18 April 2011
Great Day To Be...A DINO!!
So it appears that I've lost most of my blog following by being..."inconsistant." I understand this, but in an effort to get most of you back I'm going to try and blog more. I know, I know, you've all heard this before, but it's the thought that counts right?
I'm sitting in Brady Commons waiting to go to lunch and I decided to check my email. Lucky me, I got an email from the recreation sports coordinator. It seems that the volleyball team I organized this semester, known as the Purple Dinos have made the playoffs! Thank you, I know you are excited for us, but I mean it when I say you can't be more excited than we are. We are excited 1-to have made the playoffs and 2-to have miraculously made the playoffs without winning a single game this season. Yup, you heard right, we are 0-4. I guess they let everyone make the play offs this year. Some people may say we'll never make it and it will be hard, but in my experiences those are the requirements for the best success stories. Our game is Wednesday April 20th at 8:00pm. I'll try my best to report a victory but I know we will have fun either way.
I can't blog long today, I have a test to study for (Statistics tonight at 8pm) and a rumbling tummy I must attend to.
Thanks!
I'm sitting in Brady Commons waiting to go to lunch and I decided to check my email. Lucky me, I got an email from the recreation sports coordinator. It seems that the volleyball team I organized this semester, known as the Purple Dinos have made the playoffs! Thank you, I know you are excited for us, but I mean it when I say you can't be more excited than we are. We are excited 1-to have made the playoffs and 2-to have miraculously made the playoffs without winning a single game this season. Yup, you heard right, we are 0-4. I guess they let everyone make the play offs this year. Some people may say we'll never make it and it will be hard, but in my experiences those are the requirements for the best success stories. Our game is Wednesday April 20th at 8:00pm. I'll try my best to report a victory but I know we will have fun either way.
I can't blog long today, I have a test to study for (Statistics tonight at 8pm) and a rumbling tummy I must attend to.
Thanks!
17 April 2011
Too Long
It has been way to long since I have blogged. I am soooo sorry to those of you who follow me. I would like to say I have been swamped but I don't want to lie to you, just busy.
Upon coming home from spring break, I had two exams. The next weekend was Shawns 21st Birthday and this week has just gotten away from me. SO I'll start from the beginning.
Spring break was great. It was awesome to be home and catch up with some people I hardly ever get to see but still care about very much. Keen Bean has become sort of my token meet up spot for these people. I really like getting to see them.
The friday of break I drove my happy hind end all the way up to St. Louis to visit Shawn and meet his parents. I think it all went very well. He showed me around to some traditional STL dining locations and we played around at the zoo the first night. The second day I was there we decided to walk down the trail behind his house to Grant's Farm since I hadn't been there since I was little. We walked his definition of "a quarter mile or so" which in reality was just about 2 miles, and found out that the park was closed!! I couldn't believe it was closed on such a nice day. Anyway after that we went to the Science Center. If you haven't been I highly suggest you go. It was a good day and we even got to ride Segway's! We made our way back to Mizzou Sunday and on the way there my air conditioner in my car went out. I know, juuuuust great. But we made it back safe and sound.
My two tests where in Marketing and Accounting that week. I got a 77 on my marketing exam and a 79 on my accounting exam. Those weren't my best scores but I feel like I did the best I could.
Not too long after we got back Shawn decided to turn 21. The night of his birthday at 12am he went to the casino with some buddies and lost $13. He said he was excited to go and I'm glad he got to. I think the craps table was his favorite.
That night I composed a bunch of his friends and we all went to eat at the Heidleburg. If you don't know, it is a goal for most 21 year olds to try to have 21 drinks on their birthday. By the time we got to dinner shawn had quite a few but was still feeling good and composed. As dinner came and we all started to eat I was surprised that no one was buying him drinks. Then they came. When it rains, it pours. I think everyone at our table bought him one. As I'm thinking about it I think he had about 10 sitting in front of him at one time. Ignoring the cries to take it slow, he did was boys do and tried to impress everyone HA! I have to say the majority of the meal after that was spent in the rest room. I will give him credit for making it to 1030 before he got sick, but he tried pretty hard. I think it was a good birthday for him.
This week has been crazy. I'm finally back into the swing of things here on campus and the semester is almost over. I applied for a job as a Student Ambassador so I've been freaking out trying to get all of the paperwork sent in for that. Hopefully I hear back soon. As always friendships are always a growing and changing situation in my life that I constantly work at. I can tell you this point in my life isn't any different. I think things are going well for the most part. It will be nice when the semester is over, but not to be so far away from all of my friends. I'm ready to go home this weekend for Easter. It's really soon for me to be going back home in comparison to how long it's been this year.
Friday was my last official day at Chili's until fall semester. It feels good to have that weight off my back of having to work and study for finals but I can already feel the weight of poorness creeping up ha. I babysit for a woman I work with at Chili's and did that three days, or about 17 hours this weekend so that should be some nice dough in my pocket.
I'm getting ready to go eat what is called Kindergarden lunch for dinner. It is by far the best meal on campus and they have it simply to make us happy. It is dino shaped chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, mashed potatoes and carnival cookies. I know, your mouth is watering as you read this.
I miss you readers, and I hope that now that you are sufficiently caught up, I can start talking about more things and it won't be so long since you see a new post. I hope all is well with you and that you are enjoying your life and the new nice weather. Hope to see you soon.
Upon coming home from spring break, I had two exams. The next weekend was Shawns 21st Birthday and this week has just gotten away from me. SO I'll start from the beginning.
Spring break was great. It was awesome to be home and catch up with some people I hardly ever get to see but still care about very much. Keen Bean has become sort of my token meet up spot for these people. I really like getting to see them.
The friday of break I drove my happy hind end all the way up to St. Louis to visit Shawn and meet his parents. I think it all went very well. He showed me around to some traditional STL dining locations and we played around at the zoo the first night. The second day I was there we decided to walk down the trail behind his house to Grant's Farm since I hadn't been there since I was little. We walked his definition of "a quarter mile or so" which in reality was just about 2 miles, and found out that the park was closed!! I couldn't believe it was closed on such a nice day. Anyway after that we went to the Science Center. If you haven't been I highly suggest you go. It was a good day and we even got to ride Segway's! We made our way back to Mizzou Sunday and on the way there my air conditioner in my car went out. I know, juuuuust great. But we made it back safe and sound.
My two tests where in Marketing and Accounting that week. I got a 77 on my marketing exam and a 79 on my accounting exam. Those weren't my best scores but I feel like I did the best I could.
Not too long after we got back Shawn decided to turn 21. The night of his birthday at 12am he went to the casino with some buddies and lost $13. He said he was excited to go and I'm glad he got to. I think the craps table was his favorite.
That night I composed a bunch of his friends and we all went to eat at the Heidleburg. If you don't know, it is a goal for most 21 year olds to try to have 21 drinks on their birthday. By the time we got to dinner shawn had quite a few but was still feeling good and composed. As dinner came and we all started to eat I was surprised that no one was buying him drinks. Then they came. When it rains, it pours. I think everyone at our table bought him one. As I'm thinking about it I think he had about 10 sitting in front of him at one time. Ignoring the cries to take it slow, he did was boys do and tried to impress everyone HA! I have to say the majority of the meal after that was spent in the rest room. I will give him credit for making it to 1030 before he got sick, but he tried pretty hard. I think it was a good birthday for him.
This week has been crazy. I'm finally back into the swing of things here on campus and the semester is almost over. I applied for a job as a Student Ambassador so I've been freaking out trying to get all of the paperwork sent in for that. Hopefully I hear back soon. As always friendships are always a growing and changing situation in my life that I constantly work at. I can tell you this point in my life isn't any different. I think things are going well for the most part. It will be nice when the semester is over, but not to be so far away from all of my friends. I'm ready to go home this weekend for Easter. It's really soon for me to be going back home in comparison to how long it's been this year.
Friday was my last official day at Chili's until fall semester. It feels good to have that weight off my back of having to work and study for finals but I can already feel the weight of poorness creeping up ha. I babysit for a woman I work with at Chili's and did that three days, or about 17 hours this weekend so that should be some nice dough in my pocket.
I'm getting ready to go eat what is called Kindergarden lunch for dinner. It is by far the best meal on campus and they have it simply to make us happy. It is dino shaped chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, mashed potatoes and carnival cookies. I know, your mouth is watering as you read this.
I miss you readers, and I hope that now that you are sufficiently caught up, I can start talking about more things and it won't be so long since you see a new post. I hope all is well with you and that you are enjoying your life and the new nice weather. Hope to see you soon.
27 March 2011
Alive, again.
As always it has been way too long since my last post. I did however find out that there are a few more people that read my blog than I thought. I'm very excited about this so, thank you to the unacknowledged readers who still stuck with me.
I'm very happy to be home, all cozy up in my blanket and not doing much of anything. I've been working on some projects, I can't tell you about them now, but I assure you when I can, you will be just as excited as I am.
Home is very good. Not much goes on and that's just the way I like it. I drove my car and actually left the house for the first time other than to eat today. The last time I was in my car was Thursday morning. WHEW!
I don't really have much else to tell you other than I am enjoying the world without the internet everyday and without constantly being connected to wifi.
I hope your spring break is finding you well and I also hope to see you soon. All of you.
Goodnight.
I'm very happy to be home, all cozy up in my blanket and not doing much of anything. I've been working on some projects, I can't tell you about them now, but I assure you when I can, you will be just as excited as I am.
Home is very good. Not much goes on and that's just the way I like it. I drove my car and actually left the house for the first time other than to eat today. The last time I was in my car was Thursday morning. WHEW!
I don't really have much else to tell you other than I am enjoying the world without the internet everyday and without constantly being connected to wifi.
I hope your spring break is finding you well and I also hope to see you soon. All of you.
Goodnight.
21 March 2011
I've been waiting for you.
"The best things in life are free but you can give them to the birds and the bees I want money."
This is a lyric from a song from the 80's that I think is very applicable to the average college student dilemma. The best things in life are free. They will always be there to comfort you, to feed you and to hold you. The challenge I see myself facing is whether or not those free things are worth it. Of course the answer is yes. They will always be there because they love you, they care about you, and they want you to be happy. These things, or people, are there to comfort you and tell you everything is going to be okay. These are the good things.
The dilemma I'm referring to is the friends vs. school/now vs. later options we, as college students, face every day. The things you love to do are usually free and include your friends. These are the things that dreams are made of and that you want to spend most of your time on. The bad part is that you can't always do that because in the end, you want the money. That's what college is about. You may have heard it's about finding yourself or your soul mate or your path in life but it isn't. The really purpose of college is to send you away for four years and process you, teach you things you really don't need to learn for your career, and hope that after $110,000+ you'll have a piece of paper deeming you qualified to do some sort of task. Good and well knowing the whole time that they will retrain you and probably tell you to throw out everything you learned in college on the first day.
The challenges we face are in maintaining these free things or keeping them on the back burner while we work on making money. What is more important?
I'm sad to say that i've raised all of these questions without an answer. I have no idea which is more important. I like to say that the time I spend with my friends everyday is more important but I can't. I can't say that if I had a test tomorrow I would throw my books aside and hang out with my friends. So that proves that life is more important.
I know I go back and forth a lot on the subject of life being hard. I know I have to put my big girl panties on and deal with it and I know sometimes that that is hard. Sometimes I just don't feel like wearing pants at all and climbing into my bed all day and watching Greek. Those are the days that I, and I think you probably do too, that it is worth it. I know I've written several blogs on it being worth it and I keep promising myself it is. I know it is. I've felt it. I guess this is just me acknowledging that yes, sometimes, it is hard.
Sometimes you just want to be chased after when you stomp away and caught when you fall. Unfortunately, some of those times when you rely on that to happen you'll just keep running or fall flat on your face. There is no telling.
Frequently I tell my friends that I keep jumping off of this cliff waiting to fly because one of these days all of the trying and falling and all of the heartache and bellyaching over it will be worth it and I'll fly. I'll lift my feet off of the ground and soar into the air. That's what makes it worth it. You are what makes it worth it. The few that take the time to read my blog and even act like they understand are what makes it worth it.
Thank you.
This is a lyric from a song from the 80's that I think is very applicable to the average college student dilemma. The best things in life are free. They will always be there to comfort you, to feed you and to hold you. The challenge I see myself facing is whether or not those free things are worth it. Of course the answer is yes. They will always be there because they love you, they care about you, and they want you to be happy. These things, or people, are there to comfort you and tell you everything is going to be okay. These are the good things.
The dilemma I'm referring to is the friends vs. school/now vs. later options we, as college students, face every day. The things you love to do are usually free and include your friends. These are the things that dreams are made of and that you want to spend most of your time on. The bad part is that you can't always do that because in the end, you want the money. That's what college is about. You may have heard it's about finding yourself or your soul mate or your path in life but it isn't. The really purpose of college is to send you away for four years and process you, teach you things you really don't need to learn for your career, and hope that after $110,000+ you'll have a piece of paper deeming you qualified to do some sort of task. Good and well knowing the whole time that they will retrain you and probably tell you to throw out everything you learned in college on the first day.
The challenges we face are in maintaining these free things or keeping them on the back burner while we work on making money. What is more important?
I'm sad to say that i've raised all of these questions without an answer. I have no idea which is more important. I like to say that the time I spend with my friends everyday is more important but I can't. I can't say that if I had a test tomorrow I would throw my books aside and hang out with my friends. So that proves that life is more important.
I know I go back and forth a lot on the subject of life being hard. I know I have to put my big girl panties on and deal with it and I know sometimes that that is hard. Sometimes I just don't feel like wearing pants at all and climbing into my bed all day and watching Greek. Those are the days that I, and I think you probably do too, that it is worth it. I know I've written several blogs on it being worth it and I keep promising myself it is. I know it is. I've felt it. I guess this is just me acknowledging that yes, sometimes, it is hard.
Sometimes you just want to be chased after when you stomp away and caught when you fall. Unfortunately, some of those times when you rely on that to happen you'll just keep running or fall flat on your face. There is no telling.
Frequently I tell my friends that I keep jumping off of this cliff waiting to fly because one of these days all of the trying and falling and all of the heartache and bellyaching over it will be worth it and I'll fly. I'll lift my feet off of the ground and soar into the air. That's what makes it worth it. You are what makes it worth it. The few that take the time to read my blog and even act like they understand are what makes it worth it.
Thank you.
13 March 2011
A glass of champagne at the end of an old mans life.
I tried to blog but I couldn't so I took to youtube for some inspiration. Here are some of the clips I found helpful. Maybe you will be too.
Enjoy these clips.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6wRkzCW5qI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPnudujlBZI&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7UDOIvatgw
I hope you all get to enjoy a glass of champagne at the end of a full life and remember to wear sunscreen. That you can flap your arms and believe that there really are angels out there helping us sometimes. Believe in the power of people and that at the end of the day it really is all worth it. No matter what you look like, no matter how you feel. Truffle shuffle or blue paint on your face, you will make it and people will follow you. You will achieve whatever you want because this is your time. You will win no matter what the odds.
I hope you're sufficiently inspired.
Enjoy these clips.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6wRkzCW5qI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPnudujlBZI&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7UDOIvatgw
I hope you all get to enjoy a glass of champagne at the end of a full life and remember to wear sunscreen. That you can flap your arms and believe that there really are angels out there helping us sometimes. Believe in the power of people and that at the end of the day it really is all worth it. No matter what you look like, no matter how you feel. Truffle shuffle or blue paint on your face, you will make it and people will follow you. You will achieve whatever you want because this is your time. You will win no matter what the odds.
I hope you're sufficiently inspired.
02 March 2011
Chicago Bulls
Today I'd really like to talk to you about trying, about keepin' on with the keep on, but I just can't bring myself to do it. No matter how many times I tell you life is worth living, love is all you need, and that the sun really will come out tomorrow, you won't believe me until you want to.
Now I promised to myself when I started this blog that I wouldn't hold back and that I would keep telling the truth so that is what I'm going to do.
Life isn't always as hard as it seems. Sometimes the hardest part is waking up in the morning and realizing that it's a whole new day. It's hard to realize that the sun has made a whole trip around the world and is back again to break through the night and light up our world for a while. It's hard to break the barrier between your feet and the floor and come to see that getting out of bed is the only way you're going to be able to get back in it for the night. That getting up and doing what you do everyday is the only way you'll begin to thrive again.
This is a quote I found by Michael Jordan:
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”~ Michael Jordan
People say that failure isn't an option but we all know good and well that it is. When I do something that people say wasn't good enough, or that I didn't make the cut, or that I've disappointed them I see that not as a failure, but as an opportunity. I see that as a chance to improve myself for the next go round. Sometimes life gives you lemons and sometimes it doesn't. You have to make the best of those lemons, or absence of lemons however you see it. Let your mistakes guide you and show you how you can keep from repeating them. Everyone has heard their mom say that history repeats itself, right? It's your job not to let it.
Now it's been said that it's not the destination, but how you get there. There are many detours most of the time when you are trying to reach a destination, but that doesn't mean you can't stop while you're on those detours and see the worlds biggest cup of yogurt or go swimming for a whole day. Life is about the journey, not the destination. It's about the experiences we gain while we are here and the mistakes we make that lead us to where we are right now. Right this moment. Every mistake you've made has led you here, to this place where you are living your life. Embrace it. Look around you and enjoy the blessings God has given you and use them.
John Lennon once said "Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans." and I strongly agree with it. Sometimes planning to make plans is just to much and you have to stop. You have to grab life by the horns and do something with it. What's the destination if the journey wasn't worth it. There are no such things as mistakes or rights or wrongs, there are just incidents and learning experiences. Nothing you do is going to change that.
Find your purpose and do everything it takes to make it yours. Embrace the path that you have been thrown down on and find a way to thrive or quite frankly you are going to die here. No roots and no desire to grow. Stuck in a rut of a dead end decision that could have taken you further. You're stronger than that readers. I know you won't let that happen. You will get up and keep moving. You will plant roots in the right path, and you will thrive.
Remember, I believe in you.
Now I promised to myself when I started this blog that I wouldn't hold back and that I would keep telling the truth so that is what I'm going to do.
Life isn't always as hard as it seems. Sometimes the hardest part is waking up in the morning and realizing that it's a whole new day. It's hard to realize that the sun has made a whole trip around the world and is back again to break through the night and light up our world for a while. It's hard to break the barrier between your feet and the floor and come to see that getting out of bed is the only way you're going to be able to get back in it for the night. That getting up and doing what you do everyday is the only way you'll begin to thrive again.
This is a quote I found by Michael Jordan:
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”~ Michael Jordan
People say that failure isn't an option but we all know good and well that it is. When I do something that people say wasn't good enough, or that I didn't make the cut, or that I've disappointed them I see that not as a failure, but as an opportunity. I see that as a chance to improve myself for the next go round. Sometimes life gives you lemons and sometimes it doesn't. You have to make the best of those lemons, or absence of lemons however you see it. Let your mistakes guide you and show you how you can keep from repeating them. Everyone has heard their mom say that history repeats itself, right? It's your job not to let it.
Now it's been said that it's not the destination, but how you get there. There are many detours most of the time when you are trying to reach a destination, but that doesn't mean you can't stop while you're on those detours and see the worlds biggest cup of yogurt or go swimming for a whole day. Life is about the journey, not the destination. It's about the experiences we gain while we are here and the mistakes we make that lead us to where we are right now. Right this moment. Every mistake you've made has led you here, to this place where you are living your life. Embrace it. Look around you and enjoy the blessings God has given you and use them.
John Lennon once said "Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans." and I strongly agree with it. Sometimes planning to make plans is just to much and you have to stop. You have to grab life by the horns and do something with it. What's the destination if the journey wasn't worth it. There are no such things as mistakes or rights or wrongs, there are just incidents and learning experiences. Nothing you do is going to change that.
Find your purpose and do everything it takes to make it yours. Embrace the path that you have been thrown down on and find a way to thrive or quite frankly you are going to die here. No roots and no desire to grow. Stuck in a rut of a dead end decision that could have taken you further. You're stronger than that readers. I know you won't let that happen. You will get up and keep moving. You will plant roots in the right path, and you will thrive.
Remember, I believe in you.
28 February 2011
Party Time, Excellent wowoeoeowoeoweeeeee
I woke up early this morning (9am) to go meet with my advisor about my schedules for summer and fall. I get to the CoB and find out that my appointment that I awoke so bright and early for was actually last week. Major fail on my part. They were nice enough, well one of the receptionists was, to reschedule me for tomorrow. That's always a relief when people are willing to go over the top to help out. School is a bit of a mystery to me right now. Most of my classes I am doing mediocre in with of course, one at each end of the spectrum. I'm really trying hard to devote more of my time to studying and I can say for the most part it is paying off.
I've been sick for the past week or so. Just had that nasty chesty cough crap with a runny nose. I'm functional but most of the time I'm sure not happy about it. Not a lot has happened since I wrote last. I've found out that my parents are coming up this weekend which is great because I'm off work. Chili's has been good to me lately in letting me off when I need it and scheduling me when I request to be scheduled. It's nice being one of the "older kids" there, even though I haven't worked there a year yet. Most nights when I work there are only a handful of people working that have been there longer than me which is both amazing and scary. I feel like I haven't even been there that long, but I guess a years worth of chicken crispers really does fly by.
I'm getting more and more excited for the summer weather. I know this whole "mind-over-matter-i'm-not-going-to-admit-that-it's-cold" thing probably resulted in my illness but i'm ready for some sunshine. The winter, though I like it, tends to make me pretty cranky.
The point of my blog today is to talk about this quote "A man should look for what it is, and not what he thinks it should be."-Albert Einstein. I think that personally I have a lot of trouble with this sometimes. I'm a big "What if-fer" What if this, or what if that? My parents always tell me it doesn't matter what if, worry about that when it gets here, if it even gets here. Live in the now. This is another thing I've been trying to do.
Lately I've been struggling with who cares and who doesn't. I know everyone struggles with this and this Einstein quote really helped me. It is important to realize what is and what isn't. No matter how hard you try to change something sometimes it just won't have changing. You can lead a horse to water, am I right?
Someone else that has always helped me with this subject is Kurt Vonnegut. So it goes. Everything happens for a reason. If someone doesn't like you then that is their loss. Though it may be hard to realize that they don't like you and you may question yourself, you shouldn't. It is their fault for not seeing what is inside of you, thriving, and searching for something better. That is exactly what you will find, something better. Vonnegut says "The purpose of human life is to love those who are around to be loved." Love who is with you. Give someone a chance even if you're doubtful of where it will go. It could turn out for the best, my relationship is living proof of that. Don't be afraid to take a chance on a date, or even just a new friend. What could it hurt? I know what you're thinking, but really it's 2011, we have restraining orders for that kind of thing.
My last "helpful quote" for today is "Don't make someone a priority if to them you're still just an option." I think this one is pretty self explanatory. Don't put someone on your goals list (Thanks Tim Waid) if to them, you're still a weekend project. It's hard sometimes to make that step in taking someone off of your list when they've been there for so long but believe me it is possible. It takes time and work to not copy and paste that name right back on Today's TO-Do's but I believe you can do it. It's nice to reminisce and think about all of the good times, but I think that that is exactly what we do. We think about the good times. Don't forget that in relationships there are also bad times, that we tend to forget about.
My point is, look out for number one. I know I say this a lot but at the end of the day, you are the one you have to live with. Don't sacrifice who you are, what you do, and what you care about for someone who isn't going to appreciate it. Don't be afraid to take chances, and live in the now. There is a clip from Wayne's World that I keep thinking about while I write this, so I'll post the link below.
Hope I helped.
xo
p.s- This isn't the clip I was talking about but it's still Wayne's World, and it's still really funny. I hope you like it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTheG--2NE0
I've been sick for the past week or so. Just had that nasty chesty cough crap with a runny nose. I'm functional but most of the time I'm sure not happy about it. Not a lot has happened since I wrote last. I've found out that my parents are coming up this weekend which is great because I'm off work. Chili's has been good to me lately in letting me off when I need it and scheduling me when I request to be scheduled. It's nice being one of the "older kids" there, even though I haven't worked there a year yet. Most nights when I work there are only a handful of people working that have been there longer than me which is both amazing and scary. I feel like I haven't even been there that long, but I guess a years worth of chicken crispers really does fly by.
I'm getting more and more excited for the summer weather. I know this whole "mind-over-matter-i'm-not-going-to-admit-that-it's-cold" thing probably resulted in my illness but i'm ready for some sunshine. The winter, though I like it, tends to make me pretty cranky.
The point of my blog today is to talk about this quote "A man should look for what it is, and not what he thinks it should be."-Albert Einstein. I think that personally I have a lot of trouble with this sometimes. I'm a big "What if-fer" What if this, or what if that? My parents always tell me it doesn't matter what if, worry about that when it gets here, if it even gets here. Live in the now. This is another thing I've been trying to do.
Lately I've been struggling with who cares and who doesn't. I know everyone struggles with this and this Einstein quote really helped me. It is important to realize what is and what isn't. No matter how hard you try to change something sometimes it just won't have changing. You can lead a horse to water, am I right?
Someone else that has always helped me with this subject is Kurt Vonnegut. So it goes. Everything happens for a reason. If someone doesn't like you then that is their loss. Though it may be hard to realize that they don't like you and you may question yourself, you shouldn't. It is their fault for not seeing what is inside of you, thriving, and searching for something better. That is exactly what you will find, something better. Vonnegut says "The purpose of human life is to love those who are around to be loved." Love who is with you. Give someone a chance even if you're doubtful of where it will go. It could turn out for the best, my relationship is living proof of that. Don't be afraid to take a chance on a date, or even just a new friend. What could it hurt? I know what you're thinking, but really it's 2011, we have restraining orders for that kind of thing.
My last "helpful quote" for today is "Don't make someone a priority if to them you're still just an option." I think this one is pretty self explanatory. Don't put someone on your goals list (Thanks Tim Waid) if to them, you're still a weekend project. It's hard sometimes to make that step in taking someone off of your list when they've been there for so long but believe me it is possible. It takes time and work to not copy and paste that name right back on Today's TO-Do's but I believe you can do it. It's nice to reminisce and think about all of the good times, but I think that that is exactly what we do. We think about the good times. Don't forget that in relationships there are also bad times, that we tend to forget about.
My point is, look out for number one. I know I say this a lot but at the end of the day, you are the one you have to live with. Don't sacrifice who you are, what you do, and what you care about for someone who isn't going to appreciate it. Don't be afraid to take chances, and live in the now. There is a clip from Wayne's World that I keep thinking about while I write this, so I'll post the link below.
Hope I helped.
xo
p.s- This isn't the clip I was talking about but it's still Wayne's World, and it's still really funny. I hope you like it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTheG--2NE0
24 February 2011
Readers.
The sleet has started again and its become cold outside. The precipitation keeps coming and it really isn't my favorite thing. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy winter more than summer, but those few days of warmth really got to me in the midst of all of this dreariness. I was hoping to be writing from some place warmer but it seems that the weather had other plans for me. It seems like a lot of the time weather has other plans for me.
I am well aware that no one that doesn't already know what's going on in my life reads my blog, but I write it anyway. I have no doubts that you are reading this and know what I had for lunch today or what shirt I'm wearing but I don't care. I have this fantasy of having a blog that people look to for advice and to feel like they are a part of something in the world but that probably isn't going to happen and I know that but I do it because I like to. So thanks.
I've found that lately it's better to keep to myself. I've never been an introvert but as of late it seems to be more comfortable to me and somehow less dangerous. I've been irritable lately, I think a lot of that seems to be from me feeling like I just can't catch a break. I know good and well that I can, but like last time I wrote, sometimes you just get bogged down. Life seems tough and hard to push through. Sometimes it's hard to keep going when you feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. When I feel this way I always think that God wouldn't give me more than I can handle. Though a lot of the time it feels like He vastly overestimates me and the strength of my back, I always come through and I am thankful for that.
Another think I would like to talk about is my body. It is not perfect, and I know that. It has it's flaws but it gets me from place to place everyday without much complaining and it always does what I want it to do. For that I am going to start respecting my body and it's wishes. I will sleep when I'm tired and run when I'm feeling energetic. My body does too much for me for me to disrespect it. Though she could use a tune up, I will not torture my body in order for it to fit into societies version of what she should look like. She is me. I rode the stationary bike today 4.5 miles in 19:22 which was awesome for what I thought I could do going into it. My goal was to ride 4 miles in 20 minutes and I can gladly say I blew that goal away.
Speaking of goals I have made two new goals for myself. We learned about goal setting in my Management class and since now I know how to set goals correctly I feel like I can make some. My first goal is to lose 15pounds by April 1st 2011. My second one is to workout at least 2 hours a week. I know these may seem like silly goals that are easily achieved, but cutting back on the sweets and getting my butt into the gym is harder for me than it should be. I've come to realize that the half marathon was a bad idea for many reasons but that doesn't mean my physical fitness life is over at all, it's barely even started. It's one of the hardest things in the world for me to workout. It's not fun and I don't like doing it. I do however like riding the bike and I think that will be a good motivator for me. I am saving up money to buy a schwinn legacy for the summer and I've very excited about it. That's another thing I've started doing, saving money for my apartment and my new bike, maybe some new clothes sprinkled in there too. I'd rather be poor now and have nice things later.
I've come to find that certain things will always make me happy, no matter what. Some of those things include a good cry, a hug, just exhaling when I settle into a good cuddle, putting on a light backpack, new pens and my feet being warmed by someone. These things will never make me upset. I can't think of a situation that they would make me mad so I am going to try my best to do these things more often. This is my new and improved version of enjoying the little things. Also I am going to do my best to enjoy all things.
This really helped me get a lot of things off of my chest. Though there is a lot more where that came from I think that's all I have to say about that right now.
Stay warm and I hope you sleep well, reader.
I am well aware that no one that doesn't already know what's going on in my life reads my blog, but I write it anyway. I have no doubts that you are reading this and know what I had for lunch today or what shirt I'm wearing but I don't care. I have this fantasy of having a blog that people look to for advice and to feel like they are a part of something in the world but that probably isn't going to happen and I know that but I do it because I like to. So thanks.
I've found that lately it's better to keep to myself. I've never been an introvert but as of late it seems to be more comfortable to me and somehow less dangerous. I've been irritable lately, I think a lot of that seems to be from me feeling like I just can't catch a break. I know good and well that I can, but like last time I wrote, sometimes you just get bogged down. Life seems tough and hard to push through. Sometimes it's hard to keep going when you feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. When I feel this way I always think that God wouldn't give me more than I can handle. Though a lot of the time it feels like He vastly overestimates me and the strength of my back, I always come through and I am thankful for that.
Another think I would like to talk about is my body. It is not perfect, and I know that. It has it's flaws but it gets me from place to place everyday without much complaining and it always does what I want it to do. For that I am going to start respecting my body and it's wishes. I will sleep when I'm tired and run when I'm feeling energetic. My body does too much for me for me to disrespect it. Though she could use a tune up, I will not torture my body in order for it to fit into societies version of what she should look like. She is me. I rode the stationary bike today 4.5 miles in 19:22 which was awesome for what I thought I could do going into it. My goal was to ride 4 miles in 20 minutes and I can gladly say I blew that goal away.
Speaking of goals I have made two new goals for myself. We learned about goal setting in my Management class and since now I know how to set goals correctly I feel like I can make some. My first goal is to lose 15pounds by April 1st 2011. My second one is to workout at least 2 hours a week. I know these may seem like silly goals that are easily achieved, but cutting back on the sweets and getting my butt into the gym is harder for me than it should be. I've come to realize that the half marathon was a bad idea for many reasons but that doesn't mean my physical fitness life is over at all, it's barely even started. It's one of the hardest things in the world for me to workout. It's not fun and I don't like doing it. I do however like riding the bike and I think that will be a good motivator for me. I am saving up money to buy a schwinn legacy for the summer and I've very excited about it. That's another thing I've started doing, saving money for my apartment and my new bike, maybe some new clothes sprinkled in there too. I'd rather be poor now and have nice things later.
I've come to find that certain things will always make me happy, no matter what. Some of those things include a good cry, a hug, just exhaling when I settle into a good cuddle, putting on a light backpack, new pens and my feet being warmed by someone. These things will never make me upset. I can't think of a situation that they would make me mad so I am going to try my best to do these things more often. This is my new and improved version of enjoying the little things. Also I am going to do my best to enjoy all things.
This really helped me get a lot of things off of my chest. Though there is a lot more where that came from I think that's all I have to say about that right now.
Stay warm and I hope you sleep well, reader.
21 February 2011
All I Do Is Win
A lot has happened since I posted last. I am happy to tell you that I got a B on my Management3000 test. I took my Accounting and Statistics tests today and I think I got B's on both of those as well if not close to it or...hopefully better.
Things have been going more smoothly for me lately with the exception of being a big homesick and having to study for three exams all back-to-back. I've been making sure that no matter what I get a decent amount of sleep every night. I've also picked up one other little thing that has seemed to help me a lot.
Every night when I'm laying in my bed I thank God for allowing my mind and my body to do what they did for me that day, then I thank them myself. I am tired of my bones and muscles feeling unappreciated for all of the work they do so i've decided that thanking them is going to be my assurance that they are doing more than I give them credit for just by doing their every day jobs.
I can't think of any "personal" stuff that's been going on that is blog worthy. All I can say is that lately I've had a ton of encouragement from so many different sources that it's amazing. Everyone needs encouragement from time to time.
It's hard sometimes to know what to say to encourage others but I'm going to give it a try. My mom and dad always told met that giving up wasn't an option. When I complained about something they say "it's called work Koleen, not fun."Sometimes you have to push through the bad stuff to get to the other side and enjoy the good stuff. You have to travel through your own desert for 40 years before you get to the promised land. Though my daily struggles are hardly comparable to eating mana that falls from the sky, sometimes it sure feels like that and I know I'm not alone in feeling that way.
Just know reader, that if you're out there struggling and feeling down, that I am always thinking about you. I am always praying for the best outcome for you and wishing you the best. You have people that will be behind you no matter what and will give you points just for trying. There is an old quote that says "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game." To me this says that don't be afraid to fail. If you fail, it sucks but you don't lose. You have still gained experience. But above all you still can't give up.
Just remember readers, somewhere there is someone thinking about you always.
Always win, win, win, no matter what.
Things have been going more smoothly for me lately with the exception of being a big homesick and having to study for three exams all back-to-back. I've been making sure that no matter what I get a decent amount of sleep every night. I've also picked up one other little thing that has seemed to help me a lot.
Every night when I'm laying in my bed I thank God for allowing my mind and my body to do what they did for me that day, then I thank them myself. I am tired of my bones and muscles feeling unappreciated for all of the work they do so i've decided that thanking them is going to be my assurance that they are doing more than I give them credit for just by doing their every day jobs.
I can't think of any "personal" stuff that's been going on that is blog worthy. All I can say is that lately I've had a ton of encouragement from so many different sources that it's amazing. Everyone needs encouragement from time to time.
It's hard sometimes to know what to say to encourage others but I'm going to give it a try. My mom and dad always told met that giving up wasn't an option. When I complained about something they say "it's called work Koleen, not fun."Sometimes you have to push through the bad stuff to get to the other side and enjoy the good stuff. You have to travel through your own desert for 40 years before you get to the promised land. Though my daily struggles are hardly comparable to eating mana that falls from the sky, sometimes it sure feels like that and I know I'm not alone in feeling that way.
Just know reader, that if you're out there struggling and feeling down, that I am always thinking about you. I am always praying for the best outcome for you and wishing you the best. You have people that will be behind you no matter what and will give you points just for trying. There is an old quote that says "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game." To me this says that don't be afraid to fail. If you fail, it sucks but you don't lose. You have still gained experience. But above all you still can't give up.
Just remember readers, somewhere there is someone thinking about you always.
Always win, win, win, no matter what.
14 February 2011
Atlas
I'm sitting here in this ugly green study taking a break from management. I have a test on Wednesday and I've been trying my best to keep up and study early, yet I'm still here blogging. The truth is sometimes I get so frustrated with the situations in my life that I can't concentrate and I have to get it all out. This blog kind of ties into my last blog, but I'm going to start a little off subject.
The title of my blog has a lot to do with how I've felt as of late. Atlas was a part of Greek mythology, a titan who supported all of the other titans. The common picture of Atlas is a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders, almost breaking his back. I know I am a college student and should have nothing to stress about, but it seems like lately my stressors are coming from a place that should usually help relieve my stress. My top three stressors are 1-Friends 2-School/work 3-Family. The stress from school is necessary and the stress from my family is really just missing them I think. The stress from my friends is really what is most concerning.
Friends are supposed to be the people you surround yourself with to help you be the best person possible and to help you feel the best you possibly can, not to pull you down. Your friends should be a life raft thrown out to you in the midst of a storm. They should be the breath of fresh air once you've reached the surface. They shouldn't hold you under. I feel like lately I've been doing my best to make everyone happy though I know it's not worth my time. Nothing anyone ever does will make everyone in their life happy. I've stated this before, but I have to learn to take my own advice and do what makes me happy and realize that those in my life who truly matter will understand.
A second point that has really been bothering me is this: my stepdad has cancer. That doesn't bother me at all but the fact that my friends ignore it does. Get over it. Accept it. And please do what you can to be understanding. It is a big deal in my life right now. I would much rather someone ask how he, my family, or myself are doing and upset me than not ask at all. It's not the same when they just assume I know they are there for me. I live in Missouri. I need you to show me.
On a happier note Valentine's Day has gone really well. I got 4 pink roses from Shawn for our schmanaversary(4months)/Valentine's Day and an awesome box of chocolates from my parents in the mail along with a nice card.
Back to the grind.
This blog means nothing to you and I realize that but it made me feel better for writing it. I hope Valentine's Day found you well with the ones you love and I hope that I soon will too. I can honestly say I miss you reader, and I hope to see you soon.
Good morning, sleep tight.
The title of my blog has a lot to do with how I've felt as of late. Atlas was a part of Greek mythology, a titan who supported all of the other titans. The common picture of Atlas is a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders, almost breaking his back. I know I am a college student and should have nothing to stress about, but it seems like lately my stressors are coming from a place that should usually help relieve my stress. My top three stressors are 1-Friends 2-School/work 3-Family. The stress from school is necessary and the stress from my family is really just missing them I think. The stress from my friends is really what is most concerning.
Friends are supposed to be the people you surround yourself with to help you be the best person possible and to help you feel the best you possibly can, not to pull you down. Your friends should be a life raft thrown out to you in the midst of a storm. They should be the breath of fresh air once you've reached the surface. They shouldn't hold you under. I feel like lately I've been doing my best to make everyone happy though I know it's not worth my time. Nothing anyone ever does will make everyone in their life happy. I've stated this before, but I have to learn to take my own advice and do what makes me happy and realize that those in my life who truly matter will understand.
A second point that has really been bothering me is this: my stepdad has cancer. That doesn't bother me at all but the fact that my friends ignore it does. Get over it. Accept it. And please do what you can to be understanding. It is a big deal in my life right now. I would much rather someone ask how he, my family, or myself are doing and upset me than not ask at all. It's not the same when they just assume I know they are there for me. I live in Missouri. I need you to show me.
On a happier note Valentine's Day has gone really well. I got 4 pink roses from Shawn for our schmanaversary(4months)/Valentine's Day and an awesome box of chocolates from my parents in the mail along with a nice card.
Back to the grind.
This blog means nothing to you and I realize that but it made me feel better for writing it. I hope Valentine's Day found you well with the ones you love and I hope that I soon will too. I can honestly say I miss you reader, and I hope to see you soon.
Good morning, sleep tight.
11 February 2011
Koleen's Insomnia: Take One
The first time I met Kenny Wiley he knocked on my dorm room door wearing a three piece suit. When I moved into my new dorm second semester of my freshmen year I was greeted with all kinds of emotions about new floor mates (rude at the time but they're half alright now ha), suite style living, and figuring out how to live four people to a room instead of two. Kenny reassured me that he was right down the hall if I needed anything and that he also didn't always look that fancy.
Now, a year later, I still see Kenny on a weekly basis even though I do not live on his floor anymore. I've recently been informed of the loss of his mother. For some reason this has just stuck with me. She has been gone for over a month and I had no idea. He kept himself composed and led on no signs of hurt. I think this is a very admirable trait and I felt like it needed to be mentioned here. If you must know I have reached out to Kenny and am patiently awaiting a response.
I find myself in the total darkness, sans the light from my laptop. I lay here in my bed, all tucked in, insanely tired, and unable to sleep. I find more often than not I am the monster under my bed that keeps me up at night. Though I can't pinpoint it, I know there is something wrong, something off here, and if I don't figure it out soon, I might as well kiss my normal sleep pattern goodbye.
Blogging usually makes me feel better so I thought I'd give that a shot. I know not many people read my blog, but it's important to me so I'm going to try and keep doing it. If you are one of the few that still read it, thanks for sticking with me, it means a lot. Speaking of blogs I'd like to give a shout out to my Mom's blog at Pea Goulash. She talks about my family, posts pictures, and tells funny little stories.
While we're on the topic of my Mom, I've really been missing home lately. I think it's the fact that I'm the only bird out of the nest that makes me miss it so much. Elizabeth moved home a few weeks ago and I am suddenly finding myself singing the homesick blues. I don't think I will be able to go home until Spring Break at the end of March due to my exam schedule. The business school thinks that it's a fun idea to schedule all of it's sophomore level classes to have tests in the same two or three day period. I not only miss my Mom but my whole family. I miss getting Krispy Kremes with my Dad, eating dinner at my Grandpa and Grandma's on Sundays after church, and just falling asleep on my big blue couch. I have my family here at school that is fantastic and just what I need, but it's never really the same.
While I was getting ready the other day I remembered standing in my bathroom at my old house, one bathroom for five people so it was a family space, and drying my hair. I couldn't have been very old, and maybe I just dreamed it all up, but I was standing there with sopping wet hair and my mom told me to filp my head over and start rubbing my towel all over my head because "that's what the big girls do." I don't know why I thought of this, but I realized I think of it often when I step out of the shower, right before I put on my clean shirt, in that time specially reserved for hair drying. In that time, I realize I'm being a big girl.
I think being like Kenny is what big girls do. They go about their day, smiling and throwing out waves whenever you're old freshmen residents give you a "HEEEEEY KEEEENNNNY!!!" from across the street. Maybe not. Maybe being a big girl is letting your parents know you miss them and that you wish you could be with them. Maybe it's just learning how to properly use a blow dryer.
I feel a little more tired, and a little more self assured so I think I might curl up and try to sleep. I have an accounting class to go to in about four hours but I can't seem to concentrate on it. I've done a lot of homework tonight and I feel accomplished for that but I can't seem to get over this eyelid-opening hump.
I'll leave you with this Coldplay lyric that's playing via Pandora right now:
"Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry, you don't know how lovely you are. I had to find you, tell you I need you, tell you I set you apart.....No one ever said it was easy, no one ever said that it would be this hard."
Wish me luck readers, roll credits.
Special Thanks to:
Janie Doss- Mom/story affirmer/best friend
Shawn Clark-rude floor mate/great boyfriend
Morgan Stone-bff/nap partner
Dorothy Gill-listener/friend
Spencer Cook-basketball superstar
Steve Kay-Dad/doughnut eater
Kenny Wiley-PA/"big girl"
Heather Shade-reader/old friend.
Now, a year later, I still see Kenny on a weekly basis even though I do not live on his floor anymore. I've recently been informed of the loss of his mother. For some reason this has just stuck with me. She has been gone for over a month and I had no idea. He kept himself composed and led on no signs of hurt. I think this is a very admirable trait and I felt like it needed to be mentioned here. If you must know I have reached out to Kenny and am patiently awaiting a response.
I find myself in the total darkness, sans the light from my laptop. I lay here in my bed, all tucked in, insanely tired, and unable to sleep. I find more often than not I am the monster under my bed that keeps me up at night. Though I can't pinpoint it, I know there is something wrong, something off here, and if I don't figure it out soon, I might as well kiss my normal sleep pattern goodbye.
Blogging usually makes me feel better so I thought I'd give that a shot. I know not many people read my blog, but it's important to me so I'm going to try and keep doing it. If you are one of the few that still read it, thanks for sticking with me, it means a lot. Speaking of blogs I'd like to give a shout out to my Mom's blog at Pea Goulash. She talks about my family, posts pictures, and tells funny little stories.
While we're on the topic of my Mom, I've really been missing home lately. I think it's the fact that I'm the only bird out of the nest that makes me miss it so much. Elizabeth moved home a few weeks ago and I am suddenly finding myself singing the homesick blues. I don't think I will be able to go home until Spring Break at the end of March due to my exam schedule. The business school thinks that it's a fun idea to schedule all of it's sophomore level classes to have tests in the same two or three day period. I not only miss my Mom but my whole family. I miss getting Krispy Kremes with my Dad, eating dinner at my Grandpa and Grandma's on Sundays after church, and just falling asleep on my big blue couch. I have my family here at school that is fantastic and just what I need, but it's never really the same.
While I was getting ready the other day I remembered standing in my bathroom at my old house, one bathroom for five people so it was a family space, and drying my hair. I couldn't have been very old, and maybe I just dreamed it all up, but I was standing there with sopping wet hair and my mom told me to filp my head over and start rubbing my towel all over my head because "that's what the big girls do." I don't know why I thought of this, but I realized I think of it often when I step out of the shower, right before I put on my clean shirt, in that time specially reserved for hair drying. In that time, I realize I'm being a big girl.
I think being like Kenny is what big girls do. They go about their day, smiling and throwing out waves whenever you're old freshmen residents give you a "HEEEEEY KEEEENNNNY!!!" from across the street. Maybe not. Maybe being a big girl is letting your parents know you miss them and that you wish you could be with them. Maybe it's just learning how to properly use a blow dryer.
I feel a little more tired, and a little more self assured so I think I might curl up and try to sleep. I have an accounting class to go to in about four hours but I can't seem to concentrate on it. I've done a lot of homework tonight and I feel accomplished for that but I can't seem to get over this eyelid-opening hump.
I'll leave you with this Coldplay lyric that's playing via Pandora right now:
"Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry, you don't know how lovely you are. I had to find you, tell you I need you, tell you I set you apart.....No one ever said it was easy, no one ever said that it would be this hard."
Wish me luck readers, roll credits.
Special Thanks to:
Janie Doss- Mom/story affirmer/best friend
Shawn Clark-rude floor mate/great boyfriend
Morgan Stone-bff/nap partner
Dorothy Gill-listener/friend
Spencer Cook-basketball superstar
Steve Kay-Dad/doughnut eater
Kenny Wiley-PA/"big girl"
Heather Shade-reader/old friend.
08 February 2011
Blurp
I know, I know, I'm falling behind on posting again. Not a lot has been going on, I guess I just have forgotten to blog. I know honesty is the best policy so there it was. School is starting to get a little more stressful with the first round of exams coming up but I have no doubts. I've really hit the ground running this semster with keeping up with all of my reading and taking good book notes. Besides the snow days I haven't missed a class yet.
I don't think I have it in me tonight for a deep and meaningful post. I have a marketing test in the morning and I really need to get back to studying for it. It has been really cold here lately though and I have to say -18 is not quite my temperature.
I've started eating better in order to lose weight which I think will be good. It's hard but I think in the long run it will be worth it.
As always my friends and family have been fantastic and I just want to let them know how much I appreciate them.
Hopefully later in the week I will have more time to think of a better post but that's it for now.
Still alive and loving it.
I don't think I have it in me tonight for a deep and meaningful post. I have a marketing test in the morning and I really need to get back to studying for it. It has been really cold here lately though and I have to say -18 is not quite my temperature.
I've started eating better in order to lose weight which I think will be good. It's hard but I think in the long run it will be worth it.
As always my friends and family have been fantastic and I just want to let them know how much I appreciate them.
Hopefully later in the week I will have more time to think of a better post but that's it for now.
Still alive and loving it.
31 January 2011
Angry Readers
It was brought to my attention over the weekend that I haven't been sticking to my own rule. I made a rule shortly after New Year to try and blog twice a week and frankly, I haven't posted in just about eleven days. I am sincerely sorry for that readers, I will try harder.
Not a lot has been going on lately. I've been submerged in my studies and really been working on that solid 3.0 gpa that alludes me. I've also been working a lot at the lovely Chili's. Most days I love my job. Seldom do I hate my job because of the people I work with, mostly it's just disgruntled customers that don't realize that my job isn't actually cooking their food. I tend to take what everyone says to heart and I end up with my feelings hurt. You can't do this in the serving business or you'll go home with tear stained cheeks every day. I'm also working on that.
We're supposed to get the "storm of the century" tonight and I have to say I'm somewhat excited and nervous. I can't stand to be snowed in, but at the same time, it's just so pretty looking. The world is always a little younger when it's covered in a thick blanket of snow. I remember when I was little I bundled up in my snow clothes and took a tape measurer outside. Mom watched me from the window above the sink as I measured how deep the snow was on our porch table. I want to say it was like two feet high that snow but I know she will probably correct me and say it was only six inches but I remember it none the less.
In college snow days are different. Most people dread them because we still have to walk across campus in the feet upon feet of snow instead of our moms letting us sleep in and play outside until our noses turn pink. I don't dread them. I embrace them. I think that snow is a magical thing. I think that million upon billions of little singular flakes come together to halt the movement of whole cities. This to me is fantastic. Snow has always surprised me. It seems like you never see it accumulate. It's like you go to bed with flurries and wake up in a winter wonderland.
I think I get more excited about snow in college because in Columbia, it actually snows. At home we usually only get ice. Maybe we get a few inches of snow, but it always seems like it's ice that leaves us at home for two weeks at a time and in school over all of our breaks.
In other news I have decided to postpone my half marathon. I was doing some research and read that before even beginning to train for a half marathon you should be able to run for thirty minutes without stopping or feeling like you are being chased by the grim reaper. I can only run for about twenty minutes without feeling that way now so I've decided to make it my goal to get into better shape first. Hopefully I will be able to do some 5 and 10k's with a friend of mine from work who is a bike rider before the summer and do my half marathon toward august and september. I feel like this decision is healthier for me both mentally and physically. There is a half here in October and several in the fall in Joplin, which would make it easier for my family to come. I guess we will just have t wait and see.
Well it's actually time for me to get out of bed now and go to class. Word on the street is that it's sleeting, but I haven't peeked out of the blinds to see for myself. I hope your "storm of the century" is exciting and leaves you at home among your family and friends.
Slide well readers.
Not a lot has been going on lately. I've been submerged in my studies and really been working on that solid 3.0 gpa that alludes me. I've also been working a lot at the lovely Chili's. Most days I love my job. Seldom do I hate my job because of the people I work with, mostly it's just disgruntled customers that don't realize that my job isn't actually cooking their food. I tend to take what everyone says to heart and I end up with my feelings hurt. You can't do this in the serving business or you'll go home with tear stained cheeks every day. I'm also working on that.
We're supposed to get the "storm of the century" tonight and I have to say I'm somewhat excited and nervous. I can't stand to be snowed in, but at the same time, it's just so pretty looking. The world is always a little younger when it's covered in a thick blanket of snow. I remember when I was little I bundled up in my snow clothes and took a tape measurer outside. Mom watched me from the window above the sink as I measured how deep the snow was on our porch table. I want to say it was like two feet high that snow but I know she will probably correct me and say it was only six inches but I remember it none the less.
In college snow days are different. Most people dread them because we still have to walk across campus in the feet upon feet of snow instead of our moms letting us sleep in and play outside until our noses turn pink. I don't dread them. I embrace them. I think that snow is a magical thing. I think that million upon billions of little singular flakes come together to halt the movement of whole cities. This to me is fantastic. Snow has always surprised me. It seems like you never see it accumulate. It's like you go to bed with flurries and wake up in a winter wonderland.
I think I get more excited about snow in college because in Columbia, it actually snows. At home we usually only get ice. Maybe we get a few inches of snow, but it always seems like it's ice that leaves us at home for two weeks at a time and in school over all of our breaks.
In other news I have decided to postpone my half marathon. I was doing some research and read that before even beginning to train for a half marathon you should be able to run for thirty minutes without stopping or feeling like you are being chased by the grim reaper. I can only run for about twenty minutes without feeling that way now so I've decided to make it my goal to get into better shape first. Hopefully I will be able to do some 5 and 10k's with a friend of mine from work who is a bike rider before the summer and do my half marathon toward august and september. I feel like this decision is healthier for me both mentally and physically. There is a half here in October and several in the fall in Joplin, which would make it easier for my family to come. I guess we will just have t wait and see.
Well it's actually time for me to get out of bed now and go to class. Word on the street is that it's sleeting, but I haven't peeked out of the blinds to see for myself. I hope your "storm of the century" is exciting and leaves you at home among your family and friends.
Slide well readers.
20 January 2011
Snow
As I lay here in bed dreading my 8am Economics class I can't help but notice there are like 9 inches of snow outside. The only thing I even remotely miss about high school is snow days. The last time the University of Missouri cancelled class was in 2006 and there were 20 inches of snow on the ground. I just can't belive that that is even possible. Though I really don't want to go I know I have to. I think that is what self motivation is all about. Doing something you don't want to because you need to.
Yesterday I was running and I really wanted to quit but I didn't. I kept moving, though I was slower, to the finish line. I think it is a very important skill to know what you have to do and do it, weather you like it or not.
Some things in life are just plain old not fun to do. These things for me include going to the dentist, carrying fajitas at work, and doing laundry. Sure I could just buy new clothes continuously, but lets face it, I don't think I have the closet space haha.
My point today is that sometimes you have to suck it up and do it. Go out and shovel the driveway because you know it will make your mom happy. Keep running and keep going because you are the only person that can make you do it. I know I've said it before, but in the end it's only you. Only you know, and only you can make yourself succeed. In my management class we are reading about how you are your most valuable asset and I think a lot of time we tend to forget that.
Enjoy your snow day readers.
Yesterday I was running and I really wanted to quit but I didn't. I kept moving, though I was slower, to the finish line. I think it is a very important skill to know what you have to do and do it, weather you like it or not.
Some things in life are just plain old not fun to do. These things for me include going to the dentist, carrying fajitas at work, and doing laundry. Sure I could just buy new clothes continuously, but lets face it, I don't think I have the closet space haha.
My point today is that sometimes you have to suck it up and do it. Go out and shovel the driveway because you know it will make your mom happy. Keep running and keep going because you are the only person that can make you do it. I know I've said it before, but in the end it's only you. Only you know, and only you can make yourself succeed. In my management class we are reading about how you are your most valuable asset and I think a lot of time we tend to forget that.
Enjoy your snow day readers.
14 January 2011
Thoughts
As true to my word this is my second post this week. Week one down. I'm typing a little slower than usual because of an unfortunate moving accident that caused me to slice off part of my finger with my shower razor. OUCH!!! Don't worry just yet, I shall live.
Today I don't have much to say other than my thought process over the last few days. Yesterday was my birthday and I was very surprised at who wished me a happy one and who didn't. This made me think about where my friendships were headed and who I cared about. It's hard to keep caring about someone when they constantly seem like they aren't putting any effort in. There are those days when you are just busy or forget, that is understandable. But it becomes increasingly difficult to believe that you are that busy all of the time.
That's really all of the thoughts I've formed on that. I hope you enjoy the snow readers, I fear it will be around for quite a while.
Today I don't have much to say other than my thought process over the last few days. Yesterday was my birthday and I was very surprised at who wished me a happy one and who didn't. This made me think about where my friendships were headed and who I cared about. It's hard to keep caring about someone when they constantly seem like they aren't putting any effort in. There are those days when you are just busy or forget, that is understandable. But it becomes increasingly difficult to believe that you are that busy all of the time.
That's really all of the thoughts I've formed on that. I hope you enjoy the snow readers, I fear it will be around for quite a while.
07 January 2011
Rules #6 and #97
Life is a treasure hunt readers. Today I went to the Keen Bean with an old friend of mine. I say old because we once were best friends back in the days when I couldn't drive and she drove a black caviler and I always imagined as a race car. Heather Belanger (Shade) is one of those people that seems to constantly come into my life at the right times and always have the right things to say.
This break has been a lot different for me than others. I've been spending time with people I want to spend time with and not just those who I assume want to spend time with me. I found out quickly enough what assuming got me. This brings me to the first of my new rules, rule #97-reunite. I've noticed that it is great to meet up with people you thought you once lost and find out that you're able to start right where you left off, just with a gap in the middle. Anis Nin said that people come into your life and leave it but some leave footprints on your heart that will never fade. With rule #6 I encourage you, faithful readers of alwaysuncut, to reunite and stop ignoring those long forgotten footsteps. Don't be afraid to pick up the phone and try again, you never know what you might uncover.
The second of my new rules comes because I feel like I've been abusing your readership. Rule #6-Blog twice a week. I'm doing this to keep myself both sane and on good terms with you. Sometimes it's easier for me to express what I'm feeling here rather than over dinner or some such occasion.
These don't seem like hard rules but I assure you, if you do them, you will feel happier. Sometimes the happiness felt comes after a struggle, but trust me, it's worth it.
Another thing I really felt like I needed to talk about is the relationships between people. The most complex yet simple relationships can seem a little rocky at times. Sometimes it feels good to just get some away time. No matter how hard it may be, remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Don't be afraid to take some time off because when you are reunited, you will feel a million times better. Speaking of living your life i've been kind of stuck up on this Kurt Vonnegut quote that goes "how wonderful it is to feel nothing and get total credit for being alive." When I read this, sadly, I immediately think "just live your life AYYYYYY" but I really think that is what we need to do. Just live your life readers. Do what you want to do and be who you want to be. Go out and reinvent yourself if you need to or get back in touch with the people that you want to be with. Don't be afraid.
Everything you do in life is insignificant. Ghandi said that. But it's important that you do it because no one else will. I know we talk about this frequently, or I do and you read, but I really think it's true. You do what you do for yourself, not for other people. Bat your eyes and smile at a boy you hardly know because you want to. Go out and skate in the freezing cold if that's what you want to do. Be happy readers. Do whatever it takes to make your love shine. I know this is a bunch of mushy crap that you probably don't want to hear but this is your life. Right now. Live it. AYYYYYYYY!!!!
In summary,
#6-Blog twice a week
#20-Always be happy
#32-Enjoy the little things
#97-Reunite
Oh yeah, and Happy New Year.
This break has been a lot different for me than others. I've been spending time with people I want to spend time with and not just those who I assume want to spend time with me. I found out quickly enough what assuming got me. This brings me to the first of my new rules, rule #97-reunite. I've noticed that it is great to meet up with people you thought you once lost and find out that you're able to start right where you left off, just with a gap in the middle. Anis Nin said that people come into your life and leave it but some leave footprints on your heart that will never fade. With rule #6 I encourage you, faithful readers of alwaysuncut, to reunite and stop ignoring those long forgotten footsteps. Don't be afraid to pick up the phone and try again, you never know what you might uncover.
The second of my new rules comes because I feel like I've been abusing your readership. Rule #6-Blog twice a week. I'm doing this to keep myself both sane and on good terms with you. Sometimes it's easier for me to express what I'm feeling here rather than over dinner or some such occasion.
These don't seem like hard rules but I assure you, if you do them, you will feel happier. Sometimes the happiness felt comes after a struggle, but trust me, it's worth it.
Another thing I really felt like I needed to talk about is the relationships between people. The most complex yet simple relationships can seem a little rocky at times. Sometimes it feels good to just get some away time. No matter how hard it may be, remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Don't be afraid to take some time off because when you are reunited, you will feel a million times better. Speaking of living your life i've been kind of stuck up on this Kurt Vonnegut quote that goes "how wonderful it is to feel nothing and get total credit for being alive." When I read this, sadly, I immediately think "just live your life AYYYYYY" but I really think that is what we need to do. Just live your life readers. Do what you want to do and be who you want to be. Go out and reinvent yourself if you need to or get back in touch with the people that you want to be with. Don't be afraid.
Everything you do in life is insignificant. Ghandi said that. But it's important that you do it because no one else will. I know we talk about this frequently, or I do and you read, but I really think it's true. You do what you do for yourself, not for other people. Bat your eyes and smile at a boy you hardly know because you want to. Go out and skate in the freezing cold if that's what you want to do. Be happy readers. Do whatever it takes to make your love shine. I know this is a bunch of mushy crap that you probably don't want to hear but this is your life. Right now. Live it. AYYYYYYYY!!!!
In summary,
#6-Blog twice a week
#20-Always be happy
#32-Enjoy the little things
#97-Reunite
Oh yeah, and Happy New Year.
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