The sleet has started again and its become cold outside. The precipitation keeps coming and it really isn't my favorite thing. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy winter more than summer, but those few days of warmth really got to me in the midst of all of this dreariness. I was hoping to be writing from some place warmer but it seems that the weather had other plans for me. It seems like a lot of the time weather has other plans for me.
I am well aware that no one that doesn't already know what's going on in my life reads my blog, but I write it anyway. I have no doubts that you are reading this and know what I had for lunch today or what shirt I'm wearing but I don't care. I have this fantasy of having a blog that people look to for advice and to feel like they are a part of something in the world but that probably isn't going to happen and I know that but I do it because I like to. So thanks.
I've found that lately it's better to keep to myself. I've never been an introvert but as of late it seems to be more comfortable to me and somehow less dangerous. I've been irritable lately, I think a lot of that seems to be from me feeling like I just can't catch a break. I know good and well that I can, but like last time I wrote, sometimes you just get bogged down. Life seems tough and hard to push through. Sometimes it's hard to keep going when you feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. When I feel this way I always think that God wouldn't give me more than I can handle. Though a lot of the time it feels like He vastly overestimates me and the strength of my back, I always come through and I am thankful for that.
Another think I would like to talk about is my body. It is not perfect, and I know that. It has it's flaws but it gets me from place to place everyday without much complaining and it always does what I want it to do. For that I am going to start respecting my body and it's wishes. I will sleep when I'm tired and run when I'm feeling energetic. My body does too much for me for me to disrespect it. Though she could use a tune up, I will not torture my body in order for it to fit into societies version of what she should look like. She is me. I rode the stationary bike today 4.5 miles in 19:22 which was awesome for what I thought I could do going into it. My goal was to ride 4 miles in 20 minutes and I can gladly say I blew that goal away.
Speaking of goals I have made two new goals for myself. We learned about goal setting in my Management class and since now I know how to set goals correctly I feel like I can make some. My first goal is to lose 15pounds by April 1st 2011. My second one is to workout at least 2 hours a week. I know these may seem like silly goals that are easily achieved, but cutting back on the sweets and getting my butt into the gym is harder for me than it should be. I've come to realize that the half marathon was a bad idea for many reasons but that doesn't mean my physical fitness life is over at all, it's barely even started. It's one of the hardest things in the world for me to workout. It's not fun and I don't like doing it. I do however like riding the bike and I think that will be a good motivator for me. I am saving up money to buy a schwinn legacy for the summer and I've very excited about it. That's another thing I've started doing, saving money for my apartment and my new bike, maybe some new clothes sprinkled in there too. I'd rather be poor now and have nice things later.
I've come to find that certain things will always make me happy, no matter what. Some of those things include a good cry, a hug, just exhaling when I settle into a good cuddle, putting on a light backpack, new pens and my feet being warmed by someone. These things will never make me upset. I can't think of a situation that they would make me mad so I am going to try my best to do these things more often. This is my new and improved version of enjoying the little things. Also I am going to do my best to enjoy all things.
This really helped me get a lot of things off of my chest. Though there is a lot more where that came from I think that's all I have to say about that right now.
Stay warm and I hope you sleep well, reader.
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